Have a Little Faith In Me

We all cope with trauma differently.  I excel at facing trauma and grief.  I can go on, I can smile and laugh, I am the master pretender.  But even the most powerful pretender has an Achilles heal, a chink in their armor or kryptonite to expose their weekness.  Mine is Garrett.

I push him away, I find a million ways to stay busy and stay out of the same room with him.  A kind word or gesture from him can send me bristling with anger and fear quickly out of his reach.  Today I couldn’t even look at him without losing it.

So after a long day of pushing away and causing pain to the person that loves me most, I stopped.  I found the song we danced to when we got married.  I called garrett into the living room, pressed play and asked him to dance.  I clung to him and cried and he led me through the dance.  Listening to the words made me realize that they were the words I wish I could say to Damian…”When the road gets dark and you can no longer see.  Let my love throw a spark and have a little faith in me”.

Here is our song

Have a little faith in me.-John Hiatt

 

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