We all cope with trauma differently. I excel at facing trauma and grief. I can go on, I can smile and laugh, I am the master pretender. But even the most powerful pretender has an Achilles heal, a chink in their armor or kryptonite to expose their weekness. Mine is Garrett.
I push him away, I find a million ways to stay busy and stay out of the same room with him. A kind word or gesture from him can send me bristling with anger and fear quickly out of his reach. Today I couldn’t even look at him without losing it.
So after a long day of pushing away and causing pain to the person that loves me most, I stopped. I found the song we danced to when we got married. I called garrett into the living room, pressed play and asked him to dance. I clung to him and cried and he led me through the dance. Listening to the words made me realize that they were the words I wish I could say to Damian…”When the road gets dark and you can no longer see. Let my love throw a spark and have a little faith in me”.
Here is our song