Damian has had 2 self harm episodes in the last 10 days at Hillside. Medicaid wants to discharge him and I am losing touch with my ability to see him back at home. Garrett and I rarely talk about anything else but Damian. We rarely talk to anyone outside of Damian’s teachers, his psychologist, his psychiatrist, his group leader, his family counselor, or his team coordinator. There is no time left in the day for much else. He consumes our hearts, requires our time, dictates and directs our emotions, strains our sanity, and continuously keeps our minds searching for balance. When he was at home we had at least some moments of joy, calm, or peace to cling to. Right now those moments are not for us and we are left with nothing but struggle.