Noah says…

We had a Skype call with Damian tonight.  After his “restraint” episode on Thursday things got worse.  He was suspended from school on Friday for fighting.  Then he raged through Saturday and Sunday.  We were unable to visit him on Sunday because he was still on suicide watch.

We let the kids know at our family meeting tonight that Damian was still struggling.  The usual questions ensued, then Noah started to cry and laid his head down.  When we asked him what he wanted to share he said, “We’ve been through this like a thousand times, it’s just really hard to keep hope when it just goes on and on.  I mean I don’t even know him anymore”.

The reality at this point is that our family has become a functioning unit without Damian.  It has been almost a year that he has not been a daily part of our family.  When he comes home he will not be the same and none of us will be either.  I am always thinking in my mind, “we are losing Damain” but honestly we have already lost him.  The real thought is, “will we ever get to know him again?”

2 thoughts on “Noah says…

  1. Thinking of you all; wish I was more of a poet to share an insightful set of words on hope, sunrises, pain, numbness and of what I can only imagine of how it feels to be a momma bear without her bear cub while getting up each long day to raise the other cubs. Hugs.

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