We visited “Little Big Man” on this past Sunday and we had to stay on the unit. Which means he is still on lock down. We technically were not supposed to be allowed to visit but I needed to see him. We had to have a nurse with us in this little locked room inside his unit house. I was able to hug him and at one point he laid his head on my shoulder. But he spoke in only 1 to 2 word sentences. Not even iPad games could cajole him into interacting with us. The daily phone calls of suicide attempts are becoming “normal” and my heart no longer races. In fact, it’s steady beat is frustratingly terrifying.