- It is with a heavy soul that I share that “Little Big Man” was admitted to Willow brook Psychiatric Hospital last night. He has been struggling so much since I went back to work. His first 2 days at school were good, but when I came home later than usual on Tuesday he was already in fighting mode. Nothing could stop it, no distraction proved effective, he was gone. We had avoided the hospital several times in the past 10 days but not this time.
All we can do now is pray that he does not choose to repeat his usual cycle. He has not in the past 2 years stayed at home for more than 10 days after a hospitalization. His records of staying home only occurred after he was released from a residential facility not the hospital. One hospitalization leads quickly to another, then another, then another which leads straight to residential care.
We are expecting a discharge date of Sunday or Monday. The countdown will reset when he comes home.
Things I hate today…
- Measuring my time with my son.
- Hospitals where he can refuse to talk to us.
- Having to repeat what happened last night to 5 different case managers.
- Having the emergency room staff say, “Hey ________” when we walk in the door.
- Having the emergency room security staff say “I’m not gonna go over the protocols cause you like must have them memorized by now”.
- Crying in front of my other children before I can race away to hide.
- Having yet another family meeting to try to explain why their brother hurts himself and others.
- Having no control.
- Having a new job where no one knows our story and having to answer “I’m fine”.
- Losing hope.