You’re a mean one, Mom!

I raced home today to catch the last half of our son’s telephone conference family therapy session.

I was hopeful we would solidify our December 20th discharge date.  I need’nt have bothered, his therapist informed us that he had refused to come to therapy.  He told his therapist “I know my rights you can’t make me go.”  The next conversation was that Damian had chosen a $100 Christmas gift provided by Coastal Harbor.

Some background….Two weeks ago (in our supposedly last family therapy session) we found out that our son had refused to work at school for a whole day while he constructed a 3 page Christmas Gift List for us.  When we shared that each child in our family was being given $50 to donate to a charity of their choice and not writing gift lists this year, our son became silent and refused to finish the therapy session.  The next several days he told staff he “would be staying at Coastal Harbor for Christmas” and “when was he going to make his $100 gift purchase”.  He began self harm statements intentionally so he would not be discharged.  I told his therapist under no circumstances should Damian be allowed to “choose a gift from Coastal Harbor”.

They (The Coastal Harbor Administration) felt this was unfair and this past Sunday let him choose a gift.

He hasn’t called us since Sunday and today refused our family therapy session.

Remember when he came home from the Crisi Stabilization Unit with a cup full of Gummi bears?  We are here again!

So now my son has turned in another ticket to ride his lonely carousel.  But hey $100 sneakers are more important, right?

I have surely been nicknamed “The Grinch” by nameless, faceless people who think they know more about me son than me.

I am unreasonably furious and so deeply tired.

5 thoughts on “You’re a mean one, Mom!

  1. For me hope is not a constant star. It ebbs and flows but somehow I have always been able to find it when I need it most. The most important thing for me to do was to accept that our son’s future was unknown. That our job was to keep him safe by whatever means necessary until he is ready to change. To accept that change may be years away. Know that you are not alone and that your fight for your daughter’s safety is probably all the mothering she can handle. It is not fair, simple, understood by society, or easily referenced. I believe time is our friend and foe. It separates us from our child but in the end may be the only thing that brings them back to us. Please feel free to reach out to me day or night if you ever need to talk 🙂 (404) 376-8086. Deb Cronnelly

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been binging your blog all the way back to 2015. It seems like not much has changed. Yet you are still an awesome advocate for your son. You fight to make sure providers do the right thing. This is impressive. I find myself losing hope that we will be able to help our daughter with her Bipolar Disorder. It seems like no matter what we do, what services we get, we end up in the same spot. Providers that don’t understand. Treatment that doesn’t work. Services that we participate in more than our daughter does. I’d like to ask you something. How do you keep hope alive? Thank you!


  3. I believe the system is so broke it works against the child’s progress and the parent properly being able to use discipline tools .i been here. I think your beyond amazing. Love you


  4. What can anyone say? I know you’re right about the gift. It’s a reward for continuing down a false line of logic. So sad!


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